in being modest

I was a lost cause, and I thought maybe I should give reading Islamic books a try again. So I remembered the book Aida Azlin mentioned in one of her podcasts, it's called Secrets of Divine Love. I then looked it up online, and proceeded to buy a second-hand copy from Carousell because the retail price in bookstores is quite pricey. I was lucky I got it half price. When the book arrived, I was pretty excited and straight away jumped into reading few pages of it (oh, I've read a few pages before deciding to buy it on an online trial version). But then, not too long after that, I found out many people were criticising the way the book was written and how it raises a lot of confusion amongst readers, and many people warned not to buy and read this book. I felt flustered and ever since then, the book has been sitting on top of my shelf untouched. It's pretty sad :/

Today, I was notified that my work colleague is Covid positive. I tested myself twice today and although the results were both negative, I am feeling quite feverish.

One of the things I've been thinking lately is that I really want to incorporate modesty in life. It's easy to be influenced to buy trendy stuff, that more often than not, are just wants and not needs. Like how people would chase buying branded items to be more "acceptable" to the public eyes. You don't have to buy a Gucci if you only need a handbag. At the end of the day, a handbag is just a handbag that carries the same purpose whether it costs you all your life savings or just a penny or a dime, kan? But I understand, what differentiates between a high-end and a budget handbag is the quality, the status and the experience it comes with. I am by no means hindering people from buying good quality stuff. It's just that everyone has different level of wealth and financial stability, and it's important to spend our money wisely. As someone who struggles to fit in the eyes of others, I always find myself pleasing other people by shifting my taste and preference to suit the people I'm with so that I am not looked down upon. But I love being surrounded by modest people, it makes me feel so humbled, and I aspire to be like them, unbothered by the opinions and standards of the world. Sometimes when I caught myself living beyond my means, I would ask myself "who am I trying to please this time".

Well, not saying that I'm only allowing myself to buy cheap things. It really depends on what it is and how am I going to use it. Is it for long-term or is it for daily use that will wear and tear in the nick of time. Investing on good things are equally important as managing and saving money too. I guess the lesson here is to not fear of missing on the craze of the public. It is okay to buy a no-brand clothing or still use the iPhone 7 plus model in this day and age!!