hi!! need to let this out real quick and re-organise my thoughts, take this whole lot with a grain of salt
guess i have been in a mood where i want to be and feel loved, it doesn't happen very often these days, i would say it's very rare, and now that i have to face it again i think it's better for me to write.... *long sigh*
i would be lying if i say i don't care even the slightest bit about romance, i do!! but it doesn't happen very often, and most of the times i don't pay any attention to it because i know there's no point thinking about it, it won't bear fruit the longer you have it in mind, i say i don't want to get married because i've seen soooo many failed marriages and i've encountered soooo many guys and husbands turning their backs once they're married!! and i am scared!!!! and i would often think there's no way i will commit my life to a man when there are chances that he will leave me or be a completely different person after marriage
oh but still i am a damsel in distress about this whole thing, i have been single my whole life and i don't expect myself to suddenly be okay to commit into a relationship but it does feel nice to have someone to talk about how beautiful the sky and stars are!! ahhhh *stressed*
i am more than okay being by myself, i do enjoy my own company but why do i feel this longing at times?!! i am okay!! i shouldn't be feeling this!!!
it's ok to admire someone from afar, righttt!! i don't have to tell them that i find them attractive because why do i want to do that if there are chances of them ignoring me, kan?? this is so complicated
i am scared to accept any affection but why do i find myself craving for it ugh, i don't want this and i don't want to be :(
when the time comes, i'll go and face it but in the meantime i don't care, i'm suppressing whatever the heck i'm feeling right now because there's no way i have time for this
....but it does sounds nice kan.....
ahhHH!! dang it, bye for now
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