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oh Allah, my heart continues to ache, this pain has never felt unfamiliar, but every time it struck upon me, i become paralysed, patience is the most bitter thing one has to endure right now, and i have waited 25 years long. i never really asked to feel such way but ultimately you own this heart and you inspire me to make continuous dua, isn't that the biggest of signs that you are going to grant my wishes? why am i still in the depths of my agony. i feel like im going insane.

sakit ya Allah.

the wait has been so long, and i am still in so much pain.

i do not want to lose hope but my patience is tested every single day.

forgive me dear lord.

i still get sad whenever i think about it.