to stay put

You know how life has its ups and downs?

I'm drowning.

If I ever asked myself, am I happy?

Honestly, I'm not.
I've never let anyone in for I've learnt my lesson a couple years ago.
I've never really rely my happiness onto someone.

Frankly speaking, I'm tired of having to suppress what I truly feel, but I do know it is for the better. If I ever showed anyone how flawed I am, I bet not a single person would want to be friends with me.

I thought I was ready enough to face what I'm currently facing right now. Even if I've tripped several times reaching the peak of my own mountain. Oh boy I was wrong. I've gone bonkers for the past few weeks and I've stumbled multiple of times and here I am, back at the starting line. I'm going downhill and there isn't a single pair of hands that'd help me get back up. I'm on my own feet and I'm struggling to survive.

Never judge my happiness based on my Instagram posts. They are all posted with one common purpose; To deceive you.

To deceive the world that I own a happy, non-chaotic and sunshiny life. To put those who are dearest to me at ease knowing I'm able to cope with this hectic journey.

What I truly know, this too shall pass. And I know on one fine day, I'll look back to this day, feeling very grateful for every challenge that I've gone through.


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